JUST IN: Barack Obama Makes Shocking Announcement About Malia Obama

Since Barack Hussein Obama is a self-centered egomaniac, he has had an incredibly difficult time giving up the spotlight to President Donald Trump. This week, Obama shamelessly tried to use his 19 year-old daughter Malia to get himself back in the headlines by talking about her during an interview with David Letterman.

E! Online reported while appearing on the premiere of Netflix’s My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman, Obama talked about dropping Malia off at Harvard University last fall for her freshman year.

“It was like open-heart surgery, man,” Obama said. “One of the best descriptions I ever heard of children is it’s like having your heart outside your body. They’re not that smart, and they’re kind of wandering around, crossing streets, getting on airplanes. You’re like, ‘Come!’ You want to put ’em back in.”

Obama went on to talk about how his wife Michelle and younger daughter Sasha handled the situation.

“It was interesting to see how everyone handled things different. Michelle, she had like cleaning glove, you know? One of those yellow ones. She’s scouring the bathroom and has all these plans about how everything should be. And Sasha, it was really touching, because Sasha tries to be cool, so she didn’t want to admit that she’s going to miss her sister. But she’s neater than her sister, so she was helping to make the bed and fold clothes,” Barack recalled. “[Sasha was] just being really quiet about it, but in a way that was really moving and touching.”

He then returned to his favorite subject: himself.

“I was basically useless,” Obama joked. “Everybody had seen me crying and misting up for the previous three weeks. So, Malia, who is very thoughtful, she says, ‘Hey, Dad, you know, I’ve got this lamp in this box. Can you put this desk lamp together?’ I said, ‘Sure.’ So, I grab it. It should have taken three minutes or five minutes. It had one of those little wrenches—the little tool. It only had like four parts or something. I’m sitting there and I’m just toiling away at this thing, and it’s taken half an hour. Meanwhile, Michelle has finished scrubbing and she’s organizing closets and all this, and I was just pretty pathetic. I held it together in front of Malia, and then when we drove away, Secret Service is in the front, and they’re just looking ahead. They’re pretending they can’t hear me in the back sniveling. But the ritual of it was powerful.”

Obama said that he now uses “technology” to keep in touch with Malia.

“I get home, and she knows I’m pathetic, so she texted me hearts and, ‘This is all great. We’re talking on a regular basis, but when we were kids, you had to go down to the hall at the end of the dorm. My grandmother, who had grown up during the Depression, she hated long-distance calls. It was a waste of money. It was too expensive. So, if you called collect, you weren’t sure if she was going to accept. ‘What does he want?’ Like you’re calling from jail or something,'” the former president said. “‘I’m wishing you happy birthday!'”

Obama is conveniently leaving out the fact that since starting at Harvard, Malia’s hard-partying ways have only gotten worse, as she has been caught on camera drinking, smoking cigarettes and marijuana, and making out with boys. Clearly, Obama was trying to use this story about dropping Malia off at college to make himself look good, but all it did was make him look pathetic and remind all of us what a pathetic parent he really is!

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